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Can Every Conflict Be Resolved?
I often get asked if every conflict can be resolved. Since I work with leaders and teams to resolve workplace conflicts and to build the confidence people have to address conflicts, I think it’s a...
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Three Questions to Consider Before you Speak Assertively
Successful conflict resolution depends on the careful application of several communication and relationship building principles and skills. Frankly, it can be complicated and difficult to do. One...
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What CAN You Do?
As I travel around the country to lead workshops, I often hear frustrations with or objections to some of the supervisory/leadership techniques and approaches that I advocate and teach. I seldom hear...
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Five Common Responses to Conflict
In my work with clients of all kinds, I have noticed five basic types of response to conflict. I see people who are… Conflict Rock Stars Conflict Rock Stars are almost always in control of their...
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How to Plan a Wedding Reception in Seven Days
Last month, my wife created a miracle. She planned and pulled-off a wedding reception in seven days. Yes, you read that correctly — seven days from decision to wedding and reception. Many things...
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Seven Reasons to Develop Conflict Confidence
At one time, I thought I taught conflict resolution. Over time, I have come to realize that I don’t really teach conflict resolution as much as I teach conflict confidence. To resolve a conflict, you...
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Change Your Delivery
If you lead others, you are in the change business. When you are in the change business, you will eventually have to deal with resistance to your ideas, the direction you want to go, the new behaviors...
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Five Ways to De-escalate a Conflict
Reversing the course of an escalating conflict is a topic that surfaces frequently in my work with coaching clients and workshop participants. I have received emails, blog comments, and twitter...
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Listening as a Tool to De-escalate Conflicts
Recently, I read this statement: “They keep yelling at me that I’m not listening.” I would love to give credit to the person who said it, but I’ve lost the source. I think I saw it as a tweet in my...
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Navigating the Emotional Minefield When Giving Performance Feedback
Most supervisors deliver performance feedback to members of their team. A face-to-face meeting is the most common way to deliver feedback. During this meeting, the words you use are only part of your...
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Accept and Acknowledge Feelings to De-Escalate Conflicts
A common reason that conflicts escalate is the perception of threat one or both parties see in the conflict escalation cycle. Taking an action that makes you non-threatening to the other person is a...
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Using Apology to De-escalate a Conflict
Apology is a powerful — and often under used — conflict resolution tool. One reason for not apologizing that I often hear in my work with clients is the concern that apologizing either totally admits...
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The Two Sides of Trust
Like so many words we use commonly, trust has many layers of meaning. While most of us have similar general perspectives about what it means to trust another person, there are some subtle differences...
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Conflict De-escalation Strategies: Control Your Tone and Body Language
The perception of threat is the primary cause for conflict escalation. The most important word in the previous sentence is perception. If you have no intention of causing the other person harm (either...
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Get Comfortable With Mistakes
One day a few years ago, my daughter and I had to drive about thirty miles on county roads through rural Indiana. Snow was not falling on the day we made this drive. However, there was plenty of snow...
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Question What You Know Is True
When you know that something is true and someone says something to contradict that knowledge, you will likely reject what they said without giving their statement serious consideration. After all, you...
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You Cannot Sell What You Do Not Own
One day John, a newly promoted supervisor with Fictional Products, met with his boss, Bill, to discuss a new procedure recently mandated by a change to company policy. John was not happy with the...
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Dealing with Creative Block
Two big ideas that have huge implications for you as a leader are swirling in my head. I am struggling valiantly (at least in my mind) to align the ideas in a way that briefly and meaningfully conveys...
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Use the Right Style at the Right Time
Every stage of team development has different characteristics. These different characteristics mean that every stage calls for leaders to behave in different ways to support team growth. In From Bud...
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Six Questions to Ask for Successful Collaboration
The biggest problem with collaborative problem solving is the collaborative part. Many new leaders became leaders because they know how to get things done. This individual ability to solve problems,...
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